By Kasanya Chavula
sweetest part of being a couple is sharing your life with someone else.
But my life, evidently, had not been good enough to share.
In a way these have been quotes that have come from people that have been hurt and feel a certain way towards relationships. It does not matter where a partner left willingly or left due to death, the feeling of loss is almost the same. The pain of loss is so deep that the affected party feels the best way forward is to continually say in a place of bliss. Some even though have gotten involved again, may not realise it but they are a source of hurt in the new relationship. In the nest few topics I will attempt to show people how to come out from the state of living in pain and live in a place of joy and happiness.
The picture of happily ever after has been wrongly portrayed by society. In it, people are seen smiling and never angry at each other, people are seen ridding into a “romaceful” sunset, but is that the true picture of happily ever after? This though is a good question our main focus remains, why do people prefer to remain with the pain of a heart break than move on.
Life is a series of questions, one has to respond or react to them, but some people prefer to stay in the question simply because a response would should the vulnerability and a reaction would show their weakness. So they choose to stay in a place where they give neither. To some this is a place where they grow numb to other people and surroundings. We have heard of this notion to get over a relationship, quickly get into another or to get over a sexual partner go out and have a one night stand. This has never helped anyone but has brought on more unexpected problems. Some in the course of a one night stand have either gotten pregnant or contracted a sexually transmitted infection, some curable while some incurable. In some extreme cases some have ended up, after a sexual encounter with a stalker.
“Our bodies literally repel being dumped because there’s no greater pain than heartbreak. The struggle is just so real, and the risks we take by falling in love are innumerable and terrifying.”
People have a tendency of finding a comfort zone and making it a permanent place. This is because fear. Fear is the greatest enemy to progress and in some cases the fear to fall in love is one such thing that makes people remain in a place of numbness. Another great contributor to people living in a place of hurt and pain is depression. The failure to admit, they have fallen too deep in a spiral and require a helping hand. This is for fear of being condemned by the public and or feeling guilty because people could have warned them about the relationship but they still went in it. They are better places to live than be in a place that hurts not just your but all around you. It is good not just to ask the right questions but also ask the correct questions. This will help determine on both ends if both you and the other person are ready to get involved, and most importantly one my look in the mirror and ask the all-important question, “am I ready?”