BY Kasanya Chavula
Every person whether or not you know it have been built with the inert ability to love and be loved. Most times it is not that we can’t love rather we view it from the weaknesses of others and that becomes the bench mark of what love is.
It is ironic that people rush to a person that is divorced and abused to be taught how to love and leave the one who actually is living the reality of a healthy relationship. At most times it is not that we are going for the advice of how t stay happy but we go for the comfort of being told that the hurt that we are feeling is normal, we are looking for a safe place, a place of comfort because fighting is so hard we would rather let the world view that is corrupt determine our course of action.
This may seem bias but the word love has been used as a tool to molest youngsters, trap people in abusive relationships, rape people, fornicate, commit infidelity abrogate homosexuality, license cohabiting encourage stealing and the like. However love is much more that the 5 seconds of adrenaline that grip the body before and during the act of high intense action. Love looks to protect the future. Love ensures that a person is protected from depression and humiliation. Love covers a multitude of wrongs and does not harm the neighbor; love has the power to heal anything that is broken.
The mistake is we look for love in the wrong places. We look for it in people and expect that people will complete us. However we need to look beyond the person that we see butterflies in. look to the God in the person because as the person yields to God will God also show him how to love you the right way.
We are only but vessels being used by God for the glory of his word. Who we are and what we are ha already been determined by God. The trouble is at most times we prefer going it alone and then wondering why nothing good has come of it. God says I have established the end from the beginning. It means as people we work going forward but God as already planned and knows how your end will be. Many times we blame god for the wrongs that happen to us. We blame him for the guardian that died, we blame him for the abuse that we relieved at the hands from the clergy or from the people around, we blame him for the rape that took place, we have forgotten that God said take care of one another and love your neighbor as you love yourself. We have forgotten that god is love and he alone knows what agape is.
We have a responsibility to love one another and do no one any harm. However the fact that people have been wronged we have made it a point to do harm to others as well.
Therefore the cycle goes on and the trend is not broken but the hurt is passed on from generation to generation.
I will not take away from the fact that you have experienced a tragic loss because the loss of a loved one is very painful, however with time and am not saying it will be over night, but with time seek help from a Christian counselor. And why I recommend a Christian counselor is that a Christian counselor seeks for you to be free of them at some point, to be the independent gift that God created you to be.