IS IT A MALE PROBLEM ONLY OR IS IT A PROBLEM THAT AFFECTS BOTH MALE AND FEMALE?
By Kasanya Chavula
One of the biggest myths that have gripped the world and cultures alike is that male love sex while females don’t love it. This has led to wide spread interventions against the males and wide spread slander against the male folk branding them, more sexually prone to sex than females. From the biggest names in the world such as Bill Cosby to the little unknown man in the third world country this stigmatization has gone on for many years. This has left men beaten by the law with harsh penalties to the extent that some female folk have taken advantage of the situation so as to capitalise on the weaken men against the law.
“Pornography is a powerful force that has become increasingly widespread in Western culture since the advent of the Internet. As the culture has been “pornified,” the ways in which men, women, and sexual attitudes and expectations have been affected are of considerable concern. While pornography is influencing and shaping assumptions about identity, sexuality, the value of women, and the nature of relationships, little discussion has focused on the neurobiological aspects of its allure, addictive properties, and long-lasting effects. Perhaps the appeal of pornography to so many is because it activates a part of our brain that is specifically organized to look for sexual cues”.
The illusion that only women and men in the west are more prone to sexual acts is slowly becoming a thing of the past with the rise of explicit content that is flooding the African market. This to a layman may seem as though, is only a recent problem but it is not. The heart of man is prone to evil, and in this case I do not mean just the man but both male and female.
The problem of pornography sterns from a place where people have decided to degrade their bodies and feel it is okay to do as they please without regard for the person next or near them. The global village has become a self-centred place, with the notion of “the end justifies the means”. This however has not just ended with the adult being “pornified” but even the teenagers and the children all wanting to experiment with their bodies in sexual ways.
The concept of “no sex before marriage” is slowly fading away as sex is being depicted in motion pictures as a thing that should be placed as a by the way thing and many are turning to pornography as a way to learn how to have sex. This however has made the porn industry become a billion dollar industry and because the market for new things is needed people have now turned to child pornography as a place to quench a lustful desire. This is also agreed upon by (https://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/05/03/internet-porn-stats_n_3187682.html) that pornographic sites get more traffic than, Netflix, Amazon and Twitter combined.
Now if we look at the global stats as revealed by (https://hostingfacts.com/internet-facts-stats/) “there are 4.1 billion Internet users in the world as at December 2018. This is compared to 3.9 billion Internet users in mid-2018 and about 3.7 billion Internet users in late 2017”. These statistics may seem far-fetched but they are the current numbers and if porn sites are getting more traffic then the world is in greater danger than ever before. (https://www.projectknow.com/porn-addiction/?utm_term=p_addiction) “Several studies estimate that international rates of consumption of porn can range from 50% to 99% of men and 30% to 86% of women.”
The problem however of porn is not limited to a certain few but it is clustered in every religion, culture and society and if we are to go with the earlier stated rates then it would be as follows, on a high end only 1% of men do not view porn and 14 % of women do not view porn.
They may be varying reasons as to why people visit porn sites but in spite of the reasons they are psychological effects to watching porn notwithstanding the spiritual effects. (https://relevantmagazine.com/life/real-effect-porn-women)”There’s a false assumption that porn use and addiction is “a men’s issue,” leaving women to struggle in silence. While accountability and recovery groups for men abound, safe spaces for women to talk about their porn addictions are essentially non-existent. The fact is that the sexual templates of both boys and girls are increasingly based on porn. Girls are being turned on by sexual violence”.
Some men fear to enter marriage due to the acts that some ladies are requesting of them. It has become a norm now whether in western countries and or African countries for women to ask men the size of the penis as a pre-requisite to a relationship. I will not negate the fact that men too are asking women if they can perform certain acts.
Whether or not we look from social, cultural or biblical lens pornography is a problem of both men and women. This however should not just end at being a problem but a lasting solution has to be put in place to curb the problem.
This website offers great insight on how one should overcome the addiction to porn (https://www.whatchristianswanttoknow.com/how-to-overcome-an-addiction-to-pornography-help-for-struggling-christians/) “Don’t spend a lot of time alone on the Internet and resist the urge to get up in the middle of the night when everyone’s asleep. When you get this urge, call your accountability partner, wake your spouse, call a friend, read your Bible, look at yourself in the mirror or just fall on your knees and ask God for help”.
I have to disagree with psychology today, (https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/women-who-stray/201305/porn-is-not-the-problem-you-are) “Porn can affect people, but it does not take them over or override their values. If someone watches porn showing something they find distasteful, it has no impact on their behaviour or desires. But, if someone watches porn depicting acts that they, the watcher, are neutral about, then it does make it slightly more likely that they express interest in trying that act themselves. Take anal sex for instance. If a porn viewer finds it disgusting, watching anal pornography isn’t going to change that. But, if they are neutral on it, then watching anal porn probably will slightly increase the chance that I would be willing to at least give it a try”.
This would mean that addiction is not a condition but rather a matter of variance of choice. Then it would also mean that, drug addicts are not addicts but are simply in a place where they have made comfortable a drug of choice. In certain situations it is good to look to science but in certain situations it is better to gauge, is this beneficial not only to oneself but to those around us? How is this affecting those around us? It’s better to ask the all-important questions and stay true to yourself.
I would conclude with the writing from (https://www.projectknow.com/porn-addiction/?utm_term=p_addiction)